Some (Big) News

In Lifestyle

A Couple Cooks
“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

When I was very young, not more than 4 years old, I remember going on a walk with my grandfather. He asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. “A writer,” I said. In his day, I’d imagine many little girls asked that question would say, “A mother”. I wanted that too, but at that point playing with baby dolls was secondary to writing and illustrating my own books.

Fast forward 30 years and here I am, a writer who now dreams of being a mom. As some of you may know, the path for Alex and me has not been easy. My health and a miscarriage have led us to a place where options were limited. I made the decision to go back on the medication I’d been off of to try to get pregnant, which left me with a perfect bill of health but only two options: ask another woman to carry our child, or adopt. I can’t say I ever imagined to be in this place, but I’ve also never imagined about 98% of things I’ve experienced in life. I guess that’s what’s fun about this exciting, fascinating, and terrifying world–it keeps us on our toes.

Alex and I sat with the decision of surrogacy versus adoption for quite a while. Fourteen years ago in the infancy of our relationship, we’d talked about names for our future child. Now that the time was right, the path to finding the child to give a name was so uncertain. The answer for me came unexpectedly, after we were weighing options and someone mentioned they could see that having a biological child was important to me. It was then that I realized what Alex already knew: we’re ready to start a family, and it didn’t matter whether our little one was made up of our genetic material or not.

So yes, we’re adopting! You know that feeling when you’re on a diving board, wobbling out to the tip and then staring at your toes gripping onto the edge as you reach deep down for the courage to jump? That’s where we’re at. It’s meant letting go of a lot of things we expected: no belly pics, no gender reveal parties, no before-the-fact baby showers, no pregnancy cravings. But now, the time for grieving is behind us and were are 110% on board with this new phase. And we’ve found that there are new things we’re experiencing that we might not have otherwise–like finding so many gracious, vulnerable couples in a similar stage. And learning about courageous birth mamas who give up something huge for their little ones. While so much of this process is unknown at this point, the outcome is certain: we will end up as parents.

The scary-slash-exciting part about adoption is the timing. We’ve found an agency we trust, filled out mounds of paperwork, and are on track to be shown to prospective birth mothers in about 1 month. After that, we wait: could be 1 week, could be 1 year. There’s no way to know, and even if we’re matched with a baby, there’s no telling until it happens whether it will officially become baby Overhiser. So we wait with open hands.

Along the way, we’ll share as much as we can, but don’t be surprised if an announcement about Baby O comes unexpectedly! In the meantime, we sit trusting in God as we wait for this story to unfold. Thank you so much for walking along with us in this process! Your well wishes, thoughts, and prayers have meant so much to us as we navigate this journey.

Do you have any questions, aspects you’d like to hear more about, or advice? Let us know – we’d love to hear from you!

A Couple Cooks

A Couple Cooks

70 Comments

  • Reply
    Dixya @ Food, Pleasure, and Health
    August 19, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    you guys this is such a wonderful news. will be keeping you both in my prayers that you match with your little one real soon.

  • Reply
    Ali
    August 19, 2015 at 11:45 pm

    You two are amazing and are going to be the best parents. I have chills reading this. I am so so happy for you. Cannot wait to read and watch and learn from this new journey. Full of admiration and awe of you both.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    August 20, 2015 at 12:44 am

    Would love an update on your health & how you’re navigating that.

  • Reply
    Kelly
    August 20, 2015 at 1:01 am

    Yay times a billion!!!!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    August 20, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Congratulations! I’m sure you will have a thousand such suggestions but I have two good friends that have both adopted with much love, some work and great happiness. I would love to pass on your info if you’d like to talk to someone that’s been there.

  • Reply
    Clem
    August 20, 2015 at 3:15 am

    I am SO happy for you!! Congratulations, you deserve it!!

  • Reply
    Carol Tummon
    August 20, 2015 at 5:12 am

    I just want to say all the best to you both as you move along your journey. I believe love is the basis for parenthood and I know you both will offer your (child to come) all the love in the world. God bless you both as you move forward together.

    Carol

  • Reply
    Tracy
    August 20, 2015 at 7:16 am

    Such a lovely way to start my morning by reading this…thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar
    August 20, 2015 at 7:28 am

    You guys are awesome! Of course it doesn’t matter whether your kid has your blood or not – once you have it, it will be all yours! I seriously can’t wait to read all about your process and then (WOOP!) having your new best little friend at home!! Huge congrats guys!

  • Reply
    Abigail Murrish
    August 20, 2015 at 8:02 am

    Rock on! Adoption is beautiful, life-giving and hope-filling.

  • Reply
    Erin@WellPlated
    August 20, 2015 at 8:25 am

    <3 So happy for you two! Thanks for sharing. You're in my thoughts and prayers! xo E

  • Reply
    Melissa
    August 20, 2015 at 8:30 am

    Congratulations Alex and Sonja! i haven’t been a reader long, but it didn’t take long to love you guys! You will be fantastic parents! Your story inspires me, my husband and i have been trying to conceive for about 3 years, unsuccessfully, we haven’t seen doctors or anything yet, but we have discussed our options. I’m incredibly happy for you!

  • Reply
    Katie @ Whole Nourishment
    August 20, 2015 at 8:48 am

    I’m so happy for you guys and very glad to hear you’re at peace now. What a life-affirming step and can’t wait to hear of more good news down the road!!! :)

  • Reply
    Allison
    August 20, 2015 at 9:51 am

    This is my first time commenting, but I had to say congratulations!! That is so exciting! I think adoption is one of the most beautiful things ever–such an amazing picture of God’s provision of family (both for the child and for the people adopting) and such a mirror of his relationship with us! I can’t wait to hear how things unfold.

  • Reply
    Marianne
    August 20, 2015 at 10:05 am

    This is news of the very best kind. Love you both and will praying you through this continuing journey into parenthood.

  • Reply
    Kathryn @ The Scratch Artist
    August 20, 2015 at 10:15 am

    What wonderful news! I know I am a stranger to you two, but I have been following you for some time now and I am so happy to hear this news. I was adopted and know the challenge of thinking biological families are somehow closer or more tight knit, but I have found biology has little to do with who I love and who I am connected to. The truth for me is that our families are who we choose them to be. It was a real challenge for me to get over my concern that (because I was not genetically related to my parents) we were somehow less close, less connected. In reality I have the most magnificent relationship with my parents and I think all the nonsense I had in my head about biological parents being “better” was exactly that, nonsense. I wish you both and baby O so, so much happiness and love.

  • Reply
    Erica
    August 20, 2015 at 10:20 am

    The biggest of congratulations! Your child is going to have Indianapolis’ coolest parents. This was a beautiful post to read!

  • Reply
    stacey
    August 20, 2015 at 10:24 am

    CONGRATULATIONS! You’ll be awesome parents :) <3

  • Reply
    Annie
    August 20, 2015 at 10:53 am

    So happy for you both!!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

  • Reply
    david
    August 20, 2015 at 10:56 am

    CONGRATULATIONS !!! As I looked at the images, I saw two things that seemed appropriate for this occasion!….dancing together on a continuous bridge….from your past and into your glorious future….I also noticed that you both have identical smiles! :-)

    Don’t give up your writing! I kept a daily diary for and about my daughter from the very morning she was born until she turned 21…turned out to be ten 100 page bound sketchbooks, written and illustrated on both sides.

    Don’t give up on this blog either…I’m enjoying and using it!

    At 73 and the proud Grandfather of a seven month old “little man”…I can tell you with ‘supreme authority’:-), that there will be nothing else more purposeful, loving and gratifying as this!
    Sincerely,
    david

    • Reply
      Terry Covington
      August 21, 2015 at 3:28 am

      What an amazing gift to your daughter (and yourself), those journals you kept. It brings tears to my eyes. And what a wonderful grandfather you must be; it just shines through in what you wrote.

  • Reply
    Karen
    August 20, 2015 at 10:58 am

    CONGRATULATIONS! We are also about a month away from going “live” in our adoption process. It’s quite an amazing journey. This path is filled with a lot of unknowns, but it is also filled with so much love and generosity along the way.

  • Reply
    Erin
    August 20, 2015 at 11:49 am

    Thrilled for you guys!! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts as you move forward in your journey!

  • Reply
    Virginia
    August 20, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    Oh this is so great!! Congratulations!!!

  • Reply
    Lindsay
    August 20, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    Congratulations!! This is so exciting! Can’t wait to hear more!

  • Reply
    Amy
    August 20, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story with us! My prayers for you two and the child who will come your way!

  • Reply
    Sarah
    August 20, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    Mazel tov!! How wonderful. Your child will be lucky to have you as parents. :)

  • Reply
    Sara @ Cake Over Steak
    August 20, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    Aw I’m so happy for you guys! I’m sure this was a hard decision as it’s not what you initially envisioned for yourselves, but it sounds like you’ve come to terms with it and I’m sure it will give you all the happiness in the world in the end. Good luck to you both during this process!!!! xoxo

  • Reply
    Emily | Gather & Dine
    August 20, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    Even though I don’t know you, I honestly feel so happy for you both! So excited to follow along here and see where God leads your growing family.

  • Reply
    Jessie Snyder | Faring Well
    August 20, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Oh my goodness. Congratulations you two! I’m so inspired by your love for one another, God, and the future baby you will bring into your home. Praying for you as you seek out growing your family and taking this next big step. What a trip this seems to have been, but it only makes your testimony even stronger <3

  • Reply
    Stardancer
    August 20, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    Congratulations! I hope it won’t take long, but either way, adoption is an amazing blessing.

  • Reply
    Nicki
    August 20, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    Sending you guys lots of love and good thoughts that the journey will go smoothly! You guys are going to be amazing parents! :-)

  • Reply
    Katie @ Veggie and the Beast
    August 20, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    Congrats you two! What an exciting time. This was beautifully written – thank you for sharing with all of us :)

  • Reply
    Laura
    August 20, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    Love these pictures of you guys. So happy for you both–you’re going to be great parents to one lucky kid. Biology’s got nothing on your big hearts :) xo

  • Reply
    Melanie
    August 20, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    Congratulations. This is already a very lucky baby. Best wishes to you and Alex. ???

  • Reply
    Dan Dahling
    August 20, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Congratulations! I know of a few couples who have taken the journey of adoption. On couple lives close to you in Zionsville. If you need contact information let me know. We are so happy for you. Godspeed and God bless!

  • Reply
    Kasey
    August 20, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    This is so incredibly exciting, guys! I can’t wait to see your family grow. What truly wonderful news :) xoxo

  • Reply
    Sherrie
    August 20, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    This news is wonderful, and exciting, and just perfect. All the love in the world for you guys as you embark on this new adventure. xo

  • Reply
    Aubry
    August 20, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    That’s beautiful, congratulations. I’m sorry it has been a difficult journey but what a beautiful witness you are being in your decision to adopt. You will make wonderful parents!

  • Reply
    Sarah Nahmias
    August 20, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    Woo HOO!!!! Whoever this little one turns out to be, it will be the luckiest baby on earth to have you two as parents!!! Best to you! I can be coerced to rock little ones if needed!!

  • Reply
    Megan
    August 20, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    So, so excited for you both! And any kid would be tremendously blessed to have you guys as parents. You’ll do great!

  • Reply
    Megan Gordon
    August 20, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    Yay, yay, yay! I’ve followed along with your journey here on the site and am so happy to hear this news! You guys will make incredible parents – what a lucky little guy / girl. Crossing my fingers the process isn’t too long and the paperwork isn’t ongoing. xox

  • Reply
    Melody
    August 20, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    Congratulations! This is SO wonderful, and such a huge blessing. Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m glad you’re 110% on board with this new phase! May God bless your new little family richly!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    August 20, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    Major. Sid can’t wait to meet his new bud.

  • Reply
    Adriane
    August 20, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    This was such a nice post to read! I’m so happy for you! I can’t wait for the day I get to become a mom and I’m so happy that you are on the path to becoming one as well, no matter what the path!

  • Reply
    Kimberly/TheLittlePlantation
    August 20, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    Congrats! It is a massive decision but as an adoption social worker I can tell you it will be an amazing journey.
    Wishing you well :)

  • Reply
    Bridget
    August 20, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    I’m so happy for you two. What a well-fed little child you’re going to have :)

  • Reply
    Stephanie @ Girl Versus Dough
    August 20, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Eeeeeee!!! <3

  • Reply
    Ruth
    August 21, 2015 at 12:23 am

    So excited for you! Our Kari is such a blessing to us, wishing you all the best!

  • Reply
    Samantha
    August 21, 2015 at 1:16 am

    First time commenting, but I’m so glad you’ve made this decision and are sharing with us! Adoption is such an important thing, and motherhood is wonderful. I wish you and your little one all the best!

  • Reply
    Terry Covington
    August 21, 2015 at 3:32 am

    What a lovely post, and what a great husband to wait until you knew with certainty what he knew (about being ready to start your family). Many years ago, I was privileged to be waiting at their home when my friends brought home their adopted baby boy. Several of us had a little party for them. The joy everyone felt that day is something that has stayed with me. You will be wonderful parents.

  • Reply
    Aluminah
    August 21, 2015 at 3:59 am

    Very happy for you :)
    I am sure you will enjoy this new adventure (and now with a tiny ,well fed sidekick by your side) :D
    Best of luck :)

  • Reply
    Valentina @Hortus
    August 21, 2015 at 5:51 am

    CONGRATS Guys!! You’ll make amazing parents! It’s always so nice to see your smile on your posts, and it’s awesome to think that there will be one lucky kid who’ll see it live every day and will grow up in a healthy home :) Good luck for this new life phase!
    PS: I find Alex’s salt and pepper hair really nice! He looks a lot like a famous Italian TV person…

  • Reply
    Nicole
    August 21, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Thank you for sharing this priceless information with us! Congratulations, guys! I am so so so happy for you. <3 You are awesome, you are doing something very special! Wish you luck, guys!

  • Reply
    Kate
    August 21, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    Awww, congratulations you guys! This must have been such a hard decision but so wonderful to make it together and have this exciting future ahead of you :-) Wishing you the best of luck with everything xxx

  • Reply
    Suzanne
    August 21, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    I am really looking forward to reading about your journey. I am 23 years old and am currently unsure if having biological children is a possibility. I am sure that I will learn a lot about adoption and whether it might be an option for me. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    Chris
    August 22, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    I’ve been behind in reading, so this is a few days late, but hooray for you and your child to be! I am so, so happy for you. We’ve talked before about adoption as we are lucky enough to be adoptive parents as well, and… i can’t even think of anything to write! Cue happy tears!! Please know you are in our prayers as you journey to parenthood. It is so great!!

  • Reply
    Kevin
    August 22, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Long time lurker on your website and Twitter here. My wife and I experienced a similar journey with trying to grow our family. After 5 years of trying to get pregnant and seeing fertility specialist with IUI, IVF, and more procedures that anyone can remember, we found out my wife could not have children. We had similar talks about surrogacy and adoption, and we made the choice to go with a surrogate. On our first try, we got extremely lucky and welcomed our son into theworld earlier this year. It was nearly a six year journey by the time our son was born and parenthood so far has been worth the wait. The surrogate process is part business part human dynamics. It’s a unique relationship, but we felt extremely lucky to find the woman who carried our son.

    Congratulations and best of luck with the adoption process! Not too sure why I’m writing this. I guess I wanted to just let you know that one of your readers has gone through a similar circumstance and knows what you have gone through. If it was anything like our journey, it’s filled with hope, disappointment, optimism, sadness, and everything in between. Keep moving forward and I’m sure you’ll have a bundle of joy to share your love and life with soon enough. If you think surrogacy might be an option you choose down the road (maybe for #2?), my email is on this comment. I’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have.

  • Reply
    Grace
    August 22, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    Congrats on making a big decision, you two lovebirds! If you know of anyone else having fertility challenges (or PMS or libido issues), I highly highly recommend the book “Woman Code” by Alisa Vitti. It is AMAZING and has changed my entire relationship with my body (it’s all about understanding and syncing with your cycle). All the best on the adoption path!

  • Reply
    Jamie
    August 23, 2015 at 9:11 am

    There is something to be said about adopting. Admirable, inspiring, selfless, an true example of love and faith. Good luck to you both. I don’t know you personally, but it’s obvious that you have a lot of love to share and will certainly make wonderful parents.

  • Reply
    Sarah | Well and Full
    August 23, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    Reading this brought tears to my eyes. It is so inspiring to see that you have trusted in God’s plan for you. I know you will be amazing parents to a lucky child! You have been through so much and I wish you every blessing and happiness for your new family <3

  • Reply
    KT
    August 23, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    BIG Congratulations!!!

  • Reply
    Kathryn
    August 24, 2015 at 4:30 am

    I think adoption is one of the most amazing things in the world. To know that somewhere out there, there’s a little boy or girl that is in need of a home and love and that you guys get to provide that. It’s pretty darn special. You two are going to make such fantastic parents and I can’t wait to watch as your family grows over the next few years xo

  • Reply
    cynthia
    August 24, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    AHHHH!!!! I am so, so THRILLED for you two and for this amazing news!! Your words on your health, miscarriage, and the poignant emotional journey you have been on to get to this point move me in ways I can’t express in a little comment. You are both incredible and such amazing inspirations in parenthood, in life, in all things. HUGEST CONGRATS, cheering for you guys and praying for you every step of the way!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this adventure with us! All the hugs, love, and admiration for you!!!!!

  • Reply
    Sue
    August 24, 2015 at 10:42 pm

    Oh my…the picture of the two of you on the wooden bridge simply tells your story… so much in love, so much life behind you, but oh so much more ahead! I will be following your journey into parenthood – it.is.the.best!!

  • Reply
    Russell
    August 27, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    I would really like to know if Dan took those pictures?

    • Reply
      Alex
      September 3, 2015 at 8:21 am

      No.

  • Reply
    Ellie
    September 6, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Congratulations! My husband and I adopted our 18 month-old son, Theodore (gift of God), at birth, after 5 years of infertility. Theo is biracial with an unknown birthdad, but we’ve formed a special bond with birthmom and birthsister and we visit with them often. Adoption takes many many different forms, creates new and complex relationships, and requires a special kind of openness in your parental approach. It’s an amazing thing, because it always comes out of tragedy, and yet beautiful things can result.
    On a health/food side note, I was able to exclusively breastfeed my son (no formula) for 16 months by following the Newman Goldfarb protocol for induced lactation. It’s intense, but so worth it! http://www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/induced_lactation/protocols4print.shtml
    Feel free to contact me if you have any questions and best wishes to you both!!!

  • Reply
    Haley Musial
    September 6, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    CONGRATS!!!!! My best friend just adopted a little girl from a Chinese orphanage she was working at. The power of love and family has transformed her into the most beautiful little angel. Wishing you both the best!!!

  • Reply
    Cynthia
    February 26, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Beautiful story and stunning twirling picture=)
    Love it!

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