“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
When I was very young, not more than 4 years old, I remember going on a walk with my grandfather. He asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. “A writer,” I said. In his day, I’d imagine many little girls asked that question would say, “A mother”. I wanted that too, but at that point playing with baby dolls was secondary to writing and illustrating my own books.
Fast forward 30 years and here I am, a writer who now dreams of being a mom. As some of you may know, the path for Alex and me has not been easy. My health and a miscarriage have led us to a place where options were limited. I made the decision to go back on the medication I’d been off of to try to get pregnant, which left me with a perfect bill of health but only two options: ask another woman to carry our child, or adopt. I can’t say I ever imagined to be in this place, but I’ve also never imagined about 98% of things I’ve experienced in life. I guess that’s what’s fun about this exciting, fascinating, and terrifying world–it keeps us on our toes.
Alex and I sat with the decision of surrogacy versus adoption for quite a while. Fourteen years ago in the infancy of our relationship, we’d talked about names for our future child. Now that the time was right, the path to finding the child to give a name was so uncertain. The answer for me came unexpectedly, after we were weighing options and someone mentioned they could see that having a biological child was important to me. It was then that I realized what Alex already knew: we’re ready to start a family, and it didn’t matter whether our little one was made up of our genetic material or not.
So yes, we’re adopting! You know that feeling when you’re on a diving board, wobbling out to the tip and then staring at your toes gripping onto the edge as you reach deep down for the courage to jump? That’s where we’re at. It’s meant letting go of a lot of things we expected: no belly pics, no gender reveal parties, no before-the-fact baby showers, no pregnancy cravings. But now, the time for grieving is behind us and were are 110% on board with this new phase. And we’ve found that there are new things we’re experiencing that we might not have otherwise–like finding so many gracious, vulnerable couples in a similar stage. And learning about courageous birth mamas who give up something huge for their little ones. While so much of this process is unknown at this point, the outcome is certain: we will end up as parents.
The scary-slash-exciting part about adoption is the timing. We’ve found an agency we trust, filled out mounds of paperwork, and are on track to be shown to prospective birth mothers in about 1 month. After that, we wait: could be 1 week, could be 1 year. There’s no way to know, and even if we’re matched with a baby, there’s no telling until it happens whether it will officially become baby Overhiser. So we wait with open hands.
Along the way, we’ll share as much as we can, but don’t be surprised if an announcement about Baby O comes unexpectedly! In the meantime, we sit trusting in God as we wait for this story to unfold. Thank you so much for walking along with us in this process! Your well wishes, thoughts, and prayers have meant so much to us as we navigate this journey.
Do you have any questions, aspects you’d like to hear more about, or advice? Let us know – we’d love to hear from you!
About the Authors
Cookbook Author and writer
Sonja Overhiser is an acclaimed vegetarian cookbook author and cook based in Indianapolis. She’s host of the food podcast Small Bites and founder of the food website A Couple Cooks. Featured from the TODAY Show to Bon Appetit, Sonja seeks to inspire adventurous eating to make the world a better place one bite at a time.
Cookbook Author and photographer
Alex Overhiser is an acclaimed food photographer and author based in Indianapolis. He’s host of the food podcast Small Bites and founder of the food website A Couple Cooks. Featured from the TODAY Show to Bon Appetit, Alex is author of Pretty Simple Cooking, named one of the “best vegetarian cookbooks” by Epicurious.